I’ve felt off and it made me feel like a fraud to admit it. There's a funny thing that happens when your job becomes “Confidence Coach.” You spend your working hours telling people that their difficult feelings are normal and that we need to honor everything that we're experiencing (because what we resist persists y'all).

We have all heard about it but what does self-sabotage look like and how do we stop self-sabotaging? In this post, we’re going to talk abou the most common ways I see clients self-sabotaging and help you understand what’s underneath these behaviors so you can apply the insights in your life to stop getting in your own way!

It’s an experience everybody goes through at some point in life - things were working for a while and somewhere along the way, almost without you noticing, you transitioned into a different period. This period, where you feel stuck. So I wanted to give you a little free resource if you’re feeling in this “stuck” mode - some great journal prompts to use to work through the stuck.

If you are wondering how to deal with self-doubt and feeling like you’re constantly battling the negative self-talk, this article will give you the real world behind the scenes advice on what to do to address negative self-talk so you can feel more confident, according to a confidence coach for high achieving women.

if you have noticed that you struggle to make decisions on your own, you often doubt or second guess your decisions after you’ve made them and you’re not sure your assessment of situations is always accurate, it may be a sign that you struggle with self-trust.

Struggling with the emotional highs and lows of online dating? I have strong opinions on what’s going on in that experience of feeling offended by the likes you’re getting on the apps and wanting to give up. And I want to make it a little easier!

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about my business, my lifestyle, what I want for myself long term. And I will admit that there were a solid weeks at least where I was considering shutting this business down and starting from scratch. But I realized I’d be doing y’all a disservice if I wasn’t open about what’s been going on in my head as I’ve navigated the last 9 months and the biggest learning I’m working through personally because I know that you probably need to hear it as much as I did.

We are all constantly in cycles of growing and dying. If you want to get really philosophical about it, every day we live is both a day of growth (if you're measuring from your birth) and death (if you're measuring from your death.

There is one tip that you hear over and over again and I know how easy it is to roll your eyes at how obvious it is.

There is no end goal here, darling. We're never done. I know you know this but I catch myself in this so often that I feel like you need a reminder too. 

There is enormous value in us continuing to face moments of difficulty, over and over again in our lives. Having to deal with rude messages from a man on a dating app or disappointment about ghosting aren't just important because they're necessary steps toward what we're looking or (“you have to kiss a lot of frogs until you find your prince”).

If there's one thing I've learned since becoming a coach - what themes I start to notice in my clients or even in the comments I get on my most recent TikTok always seem to the things that everybody (and especially I) need to hear myself. 

When something bad happens - you get ghosted, dumped, fired, rejected, ignored, forgotten - the feelings are painful. It's normal to reckon with, “how did this happen? why did this happen?” and then the follow up I hear most from clients or in the comments of videos on TikToks (whether explicitly or more subtly): “what did I do to cause this?” or in other words, “is this my fault?”

I know you have something in your life that you're suppressing right now. Whether it's anger, guilt, fatigue, sadness. There's something in your life, a feeling that when you start to feel that wave hit you, you immediately go to work pushing it away.

Are you in an early dating scenario and want to get closer to him/her/them? Are you feeling stuck in your job and feel like there's something more out there for you but you can't get yourself to apply for new things? Are you swiping on the apps and disappointed with what you're seeing?

Dating is hard because it's vulnerable. Our emotions are involved and it's almost inevitable that we get hurt. But avoiding hurt isn't the goal of dating, finding connection is.

The biggest thing our brain perceives as danger (even if sometimes unfairly)? Change. 

When we act delusional, when we start to experience the world as we want it to be rather than what it is, we offer ourselves a new experience before the proof is there.

If you pause for a second and really get honest, is there an area of your life where you're being really hard on yourself? Given you ended up here, there's obviously a higher probability that dating is one but are you really hard on yourself about why you aren't already making six figures or why you said that awkward thing at your dinner last night?

If there's one thing you have probably heard over and over again if you are even a tiny bit in the personal development/self-help space, it's some version of “you have to love yourself first” or “what you want will come to you when you feel worthy of it.”