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For the people pleaser, perfectionist, overachiever ready to trade hustling to prove herself for more peace, confidence and calm
Because let’s be honest, all that caring what other people think, anxious attachment and living a life that looks good on paper but leaves you feeling “meh” gets really exhausting.
Your simple plan to stop living to please.
Whether you’re on day 1 or 1000 of your recovering “good girl” era, the no brainer place to start is my mini-course, “Debunking the Need to Please”.
Every day for the next 6 days, I’ll drop a juicy email in your inbox with some of my biggest aha’s, some of the practices that have helped me and the important reminders, specifically for the overachiever type, to help you really understand what it’s going to take to tackle that people pleasing and stop caring so much what other people think. The best part, it’s totally free.
Looking for something specific?
Let’s just say I have a lot of thoughts about the mindset, habits and tools that help former people pleasers and perfectionists fast track to a more confident, secure, fulfilled version of themselves. You can check them all out below or let me help you find what you’re looking for…
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Recent Posts
Should I be try being a Digital Nomad? A Beginner’s Guide
The thing to understand is that there are so many different ways to do remote work/digital nomad life and that it’s entirely up to you to craft an experience that feels good to you. Becoming a digital nomad is an exciting idea, especially if you’re a woman in your 20s or 30s, yearning for a life that blends work with adventure. The idea of working remotely while traveling can feel like the ultimate dream, but before you dive in, it’s important to get clear on why you want this lifestyle and how to make it work for you.
How to make the dating apps not suck
For the majority of single people, dating apps are a part of life. But navigating them doesn’t have to be depressing. In this post, I talk about how I interact with dating apps in a way that helps me manage the logistical and emotional drain and to help highlight underlying patterns that might be holding me back.
This is why I've been quiet…
I’ve felt off and it made me feel like a fraud to admit it. There's a funny thing that happens when your job becomes “Confidence Coach.” You spend your working hours telling people that their difficult feelings are normal and that we need to honor everything that we're experiencing (because what we resist persists y'all).
Three most common types of self-sabotage I see in my work
We have all heard about it but what does self-sabotage look like and how do we stop self-sabotaging? In this post, we’re going to talk abou the most common ways I see clients self-sabotaging and help you understand what’s underneath these behaviors so you can apply the insights in your life to stop getting in your own way!
31 lessons on my 31st birthday
In celebration of my birthday, I thought it’d be fun to collect some of the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, since I turned 30. Everytime I do these sort of reflections I’m always so encouraged by how far I’ve come in the period of time, that we’re often so quick to skim over and ignore in the motivation to move on to the next. So for now, I bring to you, on the occasion of my 31st birthday, 31 things I’ve learned this year…
Why does it feel so hard to accept help?
It’d be nice if it was as simple as “stop doing so much” and “start asking for help more” but I have lived experience totally understand that when you’ve been an overachiever for decades, asking for help can be really friggin’ hard. Why? Because it triggers all sorts of stories about our value, what we bring to the table and much more.
Worried you’re not “good enough”? Here’s what you need to understand
When something goes wrong in your life do you worry that it's may be because you aren't good enough? Do you often evaluate yourself against other people in your life and feel like you don’t measure up?This worry about not being “good enough” is one of the most common complaints I hear from overachievers, people pleasers and perfectionists and it makes sense because those behaviors are related to this fear.
Journal prompts for when you’re feeling stuck
It’s an experience everybody goes through at some point in life - things were working for a while and somewhere along the way, almost without you noticing, you transitioned into a different period. This period, where you feel stuck. So I wanted to give you a little free resource if you’re feeling in this “stuck” mode - some great journal prompts to use to work through the stuck.
What’s wrong with being a people pleaser
Why is people pleasing bad and where does people pleasing come from? Some incredibly common questions in my community so it was time to dive deep on this incredibly common behavior so we can understand how to shift it.
3 things I do to deal with self-doubt
If you are wondering how to deal with self-doubt and feeling like you’re constantly battling the negative self-talk, this article will give you the real world behind the scenes advice on what to do to address negative self-talk so you can feel more confident, according to a confidence coach for high achieving women.
How to heal anxious attachment (and its triggers)
What good is knowing you’re anxiously attached if you have nothing to do with that information? In this post we’re diving into what triggers anxious attachment and how to heal it. Understanding what our body is doing in moments where we are triggered by anxious attachment is the key to understanding how to shift is so you can more effectively form strong healthy relationships, in dating and beyond.
What is anxious attachment and where does it come from?
What good is knowing you’re anxiously attached if you have nothing to do with that information? In this post we’re diving into what is anxious attachment, where anxious attachment comes from and the good side of this often maligned attachment style. There is enormous value (self-awareness, tools and the potential for real healing) in understanding what your attachment style means for you, in your dating life and beyond.
3 signs that you might struggle with self-trust (and what to do about it)
if you have noticed that you struggle to make decisions on your own, you often doubt or second guess your decisions after you’ve made them and you’re not sure your assessment of situations is always accurate, it may be a sign that you struggle with self-trust.
In defense of tinkering: the most effective mindset for personal growth
The mindset that will help you feel more confident, make better decisions and manage uncertainty that nobody is talking about. This philosophy of tinkering has been a game changer for me actually progressing and growing faster.
Why are dating apps so disappointing? Battling the emotional volatility of online dating
Struggling with the emotional highs and lows of online dating? I have strong opinions on what’s going on in that experience of feeling offended by the likes you’re getting on the apps and wanting to give up. And I want to make it a little easier!
Why a relationship may not make you feel safe and loved
When talking with clients or even just those who comment on my content on social media, there is one phrase or opinion that I probably hear more than anything else. When I ask the question, what do you think you’ll get to feel when you’re in a relationship?
The answer: “to feel safe and loved.”
If I could tell my mid-20s self one thing
In my mid-20s, I was deep in overachiever mode and was constantly in pursuit of feeling like I was doing the right thing. I wanted to get the promotion, be a girlboss and make more money. But at the same time, I was also trying to figure out the transition of my friendships from college into adulthood. How to date, when my experience at the time was a lot of lukewarm guys and situationships.
5 reasons why being a “good kid” makes you an unhappy adult (and what to do about it)
The more I’ve unpacked why I was certain patterns in adulthood that was hurting my confidence, my dating life, friendships and more, the more I understood that many of them came back to this same truth...
Being the “good girl” had fundamentally shaped who I was as a person and not always for the better.
So for all of you “good girls” out there, I think it’s time we spend a moment unpacking what are some of the things we learn being a “good girl” growing up that aren’t helping us feel good as adults (and what to do about it).
Do you need a mindset coach? These might be a sign that you do
Your mindset is one of the most basic and fundamental dictators on how we show up in our lives. It’s so basic that most of us, unless you are deep into personal development spaces, might not even have a clear idea of what mindset really is.
But we all observe that people who have “good,” effective or helpful mindsets seem to be more fulfilled and successful and those with “bad,” destructive or inconsistent mindsets seem to struggle. Does a good mindset directly lead to being fulfilled and/or successful? Can you be successful with a bad mindset? What about fulfilled?
The Nantucket Guide
There is nothing like summer on Nantucket. It is truly my happy place. A lot of Nantucket charm is the insider spots, the hard to find beaches and the unfinished moments, so I absolutely recommend not trying to overschedule your time on the island. Time is supposed to slow down on the island - enjoy it!
FEATURED TOOL
A game changer for finally releasing those stubborn limiting beliefs
You know what your patterns are, you know what the fears are but how do you actually go about shifting those subconscious beliefs that dictate how we act when we’re triggered or emotional?! Turns out, it’s not about understanding as much as it’s releasing emotions from when you picked them up in the first place. There’s so many tools out there that claim to do this, but honestly, this is the one I keep coming back to. It doesn’t hurt that it can fit in pretty much anybody’s budget. (Plus the code SAMANTHA gets you an extra 15% off!)
WHAT OTHER GIRLIES SAY
“Samantha was instrumental in helping me change my thoughts about myself and my self-worth. These are techniques that I'll be using for a long, long time!”
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