Read this if you’re scared of rejection
We are all constantly in cycles of growing and dying. If you want to get really philosophical about it, every day we live is both a day of growth (if you're measuring from your birth) and death (if you're measuring from your death.
And yet, we celebrate growth and fear death.
This is in our biology, really. Our brains are wired to keep us safe, not to make us happy. It's more important for our survival that we fear the bear than to celebrate the sunrise. And this comes back to this truth that my clients have heard a million times: Avoiding pain is not the same thing as seeking pleasure.
Avoiding death is not the same the same as living. Avoiding loss is not the same as creating more. Avoiding rejection is not the same as seeking connection.
The applications of this are vast:
Are you avoiding saying something you really believe because you're scared a friend or family member will reject you? How might that be getting in the way of true connection?
Are you resisting letting go of old clothing or your current apartment or current habits, even though you know they don't feel good to you anymore? What more could you have if you were willing to let these things go?
Are you deciding who to swipe on or who to go out with based on whether they'll like you? What might that be teaching you about the level of relationship you can expect?
How would you act differently if you focused on seeking connection rather than avoiding rejection?
This has been my personal journey for the last 3 years, really. I've been learning that my ability to embrace that pain is directly connected to my ability to grow. I have to let go of the old stuff in order to let in the new, deeper, happier - spring cleaning vibes!
(But also, you have to stop doing the bad habit to start doing the good. You have to end things with the bad relationship to let in the new one. You get the idea!)
This applies at the deepest levels and also the most practical, logistical ones.
If you feel like you're in a season of pain, loss or transformation. I see you and I know how exhausting and seemingly never ending it can be.
But if you are brave enough to feel it all, to be kind with yourself and asking "what do I need to let go of in order to become who I want to be?" that it will all be worth it.
