I'm Samantha.

People pleasing is my arch nemesis. Along my own journey to overcome my own people pleasing, anxious attachment and overachieving tendencies I realized how many other women, like I was, were living “good enough” lives because they’re too scared to ruffle feathers.

So now I’ve made it my life’s mission to help more women feel worthy of their dream life and create systems that help them create that life without the hustle.

More ease, connection and fulfillment, every f*cking day.

Sound like you?

But 3 years ago…

my life looked very different.

4 back-to-back situationships (and trust me I was really trying not to be!)
In a corporate job that loved me but felt unfulfilling and full of corporate politics
Limited travel because of PTO and my budget

Often feeling resentful towards friends and family because I was doing so much and not getting enough back
Feeling meh about my body even though I knew I was nitpicking
Completely conflict avoidant (and getting taken advantage of as a result)

I said enough. And dove head first into “the work.”

Nobody ever tells you that "making the grade" only works when you're in school.

I was always that girl.

The get-the-A girl (so you were worth admitting to college).

Do-the-chores girl (so you got the smiles and admiration from your parents’ friends).

Not-argue-with-the-parents girl (so you had 'earned' asking to go to that party).

Get into the good school girl.

Find the good job girl.

One day, you wake up and realize that you’ve been putting other people’s opinions before yours for the last 20 years.

I have so many photos like this from that time - I looked happy from the outside but I was compromising all the time (with guys, with work, with friends).

You want to believe that the next date, the next interview, the next fun night out will be the one that finally makes you feel good, safe, loved, enough.

But I started to understand that the thing holding me back was the way I was navigating my life. Avoiding rejection, not saying what I wanted so I wouldn’t scare him away. Molding myself into the likeable version of you for every different room. Always focused on the next level of achievement and being dependable, trustworthy and nice.

So I said screw being the “good girl.”

I started being brave instead.

I started speaking up when I wasn’t getting what I needed from inconsistent guys.

I admitted to myself and eventually my boss that I had always dreamed of entrepreneurship and put in my two weeks.

I stopped accepting breadcrumbs from friends who always seemed to text with a favor and then disappear when things got busy.

I booked a solo trip (and then another and another).

I started facing the fears and feelings that came up when somebody ghosted me, asked me to compromise or didn’t like when I had boundaries and standards.

And I made decisions about my life that felt right to me even if nobody else understood.

Today I…

I am regularly asked out and go on dates with great guys who make reservations ahead of time (in multiple states and countries) and…
I legitimately enjoy my single and dating life (even while I’d ultimately like a partner - I love the flexibility that comes with being single!)
Am spending the next year traveling to figure out where I want to live next (inc. 3 months in Europe!) without bankrupting myself

I’ve built a six-figure business, get to make my own hours and actually make money while I sleep
My friendships feel more authentic and supportive than ever
I look at my body and think “damn I look good” even on cozy, leggings days
I have no problem setting boundaries and saying no to what doesn’t serve me

I want that!

A few fun facts about me

I love solo trips.

One of my favorites was 4 days in Rome and I almost didn't leave. Coffee, pasta, wine and gelato, oh my. (I love them so much I’ve actually made it my life - I’m traveling full time to explore and find the next city I might want to call home. My favorite travel recommendations are here.)

I have 5 younger siblings.

This may have played a role in my obsession with being "responsible" but I've stopped putting so much pressure on myself that way anymore.

I have strong opinions about the best burger in NYC.

And I love that my job allows me to take myself out to test new ones in the middle of the week.

I was a Yale cheerleader.

For one year (I had never cheered a day in my life). I wasn't very good at it but I had a blast and in retrospect, I love that younger Sam had the courage to try something new, knowing most people in my life didn't get it.

I believe in spending as little time as possible doing things that are necessary but I don’t like doing and ZERO time doing things that are unnecessary and I don’t like doing. I want to spend as much time as possible with people that matter to me and doing things that bring me joy. Enjoyment, peace, satisfaction are not once-in-a-while feelings, we’re building a life where we have them every day.
The most amazing things in life are the ones that feel delightful to us without us having to be/do something different. A premium experience is only as good as you can be relaxed while experiencing it and this is different for everybody based on what you feel most relaxed in. Personally, a cashmere sweater feels way more luxurious to me than a designer corset crop top, no matter the cost.
We are all a work in progress. As Sophia Bush said: “It is possible to be a masterpiece and work in progress, simultaneously.” We both always have the possibility to be better but are at the same time worthy and deserving of love exactly as we are. In order to truly get what we want in life, we have to accept this truth. This means finding how to celebrate who we are even when we still have things we’re improving. You can always be tinkering and still experience satisfaction.
Put your mask on before helping others. Being a martyr isn’t noble, it’s irresponsible. We do not sacrifice ourselves for what other people want and need and expect to be happy on the other side. Instead, by prioritizing our own wants and needs first, we show everybody around us that they are allowed to do the same. This is universal - expressing ourselves authentically, dressing and acting the way that feels good to us, our self-care routine and so much more. Permission to be self1st.

My Values

Come hang w/ me on Instagram

Am I anti-coaching? Not at all.

But for a people pleaser who just wants someone to tell them what to do, struggles to follow through on promises to herself and doubts her own instincts, do I think coaching is the answer to get the results she wants

I know you don’t want to ask too much of people because you’re scared they’ll walk away if you do.

You don’t people please because you don’t have desires, it’s because you’re worried what will happen to your

I might ruffle some feathers with this one but it's gotta be said.

It's not about the boy or the relationship it's about how we feel going about our lives day-to-day. But when you've attached how you feel about yourself entirely to the opinions and

What made you start teaching in personal growth?

I’d had enough of dinners with other high achieving, smart women who were struggling with the same things I was behind-the-scenes: people pleasing, the guys who didn’t put any effort, feeling lukewarm about a job they’d fought to get and feeling sort of “is this it?” about their life.

I knew with access to the tools I was using in my own life, that these women were on the precipice of massive transformation just like I had been. They just needed a guide to show them the way and the bravery to say: “I’m ready to change.”

I'm ready

Free Sample Texts to Make Dating Less Stressful

Spending WAY too long editing the text message to tell that guy you don’t want to go out again? Need help figuring out how to decline the “Netflix and Chill” date?

These are just 2 of 15 (and growing) sample texts in this digital download that can help you feel more confident in some super common dating situations.