I’ve felt off and it made me feel like a fraud to admit it. There's a funny thing that happens when your job becomes “Confidence Coach.” You spend your working hours telling people that their difficult feelings are normal and that we need to honor everything that we're experiencing (because what we resist persists y'all).

We have all heard about it but what does self-sabotage look like and how do we stop self-sabotaging? In this post, we’re going to talk abou the most common ways I see clients self-sabotaging and help you understand what’s underneath these behaviors so you can apply the insights in your life to stop getting in your own way!

In celebration of my birthday, I thought it’d be fun to collect some of the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, since I turned 30. Everytime I do these sort of reflections I’m always so encouraged by how far I’ve come in the period of time, that we’re often so quick to skim over and ignore in the motivation to move on to the next. So for now, I bring to you, on the occasion of my 31st birthday, 31 things I’ve learned this year…

It’d be nice if it was as simple as “stop doing so much” and “start asking for help more” but I have lived experience totally understand that when you’ve been an overachiever for decades, asking for help can be really friggin’ hard. Why? Because it triggers all sorts of stories about our value, what we bring to the table and much more.

When something goes wrong in your life do you worry that it's may be because you aren't good enough? Do you often evaluate yourself against other people in your life and feel like you don’t measure up?This worry about not being “good enough” is one of the most common complaints I hear from overachievers, people pleasers and perfectionists and it makes sense because those behaviors are related to this fear.

It’s an experience everybody goes through at some point in life - things were working for a while and somewhere along the way, almost without you noticing, you transitioned into a different period. This period, where you feel stuck. So I wanted to give you a little free resource if you’re feeling in this “stuck” mode - some great journal prompts to use to work through the stuck.

Why is people pleasing bad and where does people pleasing come from? Some incredibly common questions in my community so it was time to dive deep on this incredibly common behavior so we can understand how to shift it.

If you are wondering how to deal with self-doubt and feeling like you’re constantly battling the negative self-talk, this article will give you the real world behind the scenes advice on what to do to address negative self-talk so you can feel more confident, according to a confidence coach for high achieving women.

What good is knowing you’re anxiously attached if you have nothing to do with that information? In this post we’re diving into what triggers anxious attachment and how to heal it. Understanding what our body is doing in moments where we are triggered by anxious attachment is the key to understanding how to shift is so you can more effectively form strong healthy relationships, in dating and beyond.

What good is knowing you’re anxiously attached if you have nothing to do with that information? In this post we’re diving into what is anxious attachment, where anxious attachment comes from and the good side of this often maligned attachment style. There is enormous value (self-awareness, tools and the potential for real healing) in understanding what your attachment style means for you, in your dating life and beyond.

if you have noticed that you struggle to make decisions on your own, you often doubt or second guess your decisions after you’ve made them and you’re not sure your assessment of situations is always accurate, it may be a sign that you struggle with self-trust.

The mindset that will help you feel more confident, make better decisions and manage uncertainty that nobody is talking about. This philosophy of tinkering has been a game changer for me actually progressing and growing faster.

Struggling with the emotional highs and lows of online dating? I have strong opinions on what’s going on in that experience of feeling offended by the likes you’re getting on the apps and wanting to give up. And I want to make it a little easier!

When talking with clients or even just those who comment on my content on social media, there is one phrase or opinion that I probably hear more than anything else. When I ask the question, what do you think you’ll get to feel when you’re in a relationship?

The answer: “to feel safe and loved.”

In my mid-20s, I was deep in overachiever mode and was constantly in pursuit of feeling like I was doing the right thing. I wanted to get the promotion, be a girlboss and make more money. But at the same time, I was also trying to figure out the transition of my friendships from college into adulthood. How to date, when my experience at the time was a lot of lukewarm guys and situationships.

The more I’ve unpacked why I was certain patterns in adulthood that was hurting my confidence, my dating life, friendships and more, the more I understood that many of them came back to this same truth...

Being the “good girl” had fundamentally shaped who I was as a person and not always for the better.

So for all of you “good girls” out there, I think it’s time we spend a moment unpacking what are some of the things we learn being a “good girl” growing up that aren’t helping us feel good as adults (and what to do about it).

Your mindset is one of the most basic and fundamental dictators on how we show up in our lives. It’s so basic that most of us, unless you are deep into personal development spaces, might not even have a clear idea of what mindset really is.

But we all observe that people who have “good,” effective or helpful mindsets seem to be more fulfilled and successful and those with “bad,” destructive or inconsistent mindsets seem to struggle. Does a good mindset directly lead to being fulfilled and/or successful? Can you be successful with a bad mindset? What about fulfilled?

The number one sign that you care too much what other people think is if you spend a ton of time trying to predict what they’re thinking and feeling. In short, trying to read minds. Now before you click away, you might be thinking - “uh, yeah, stating the obvious, if I care what other people think, I spend time trying to figure out what they think.”

And there, my friend, is the issue.

If you hear all this talk about why boundaries are important but want to really understand what it means to set a boundary and what might happen when you start communicating boundaries in your friendships, relationships and work life, this post is for you.

Do you wonder whether journaling can help mental health? This will talk through why it’s so beneficial if you struggle with overthinking, anxiety and people pleasing and detail the actual journal prompts a mindset and confidence coach uses for her own reflection (and why they’ll help you move towards more confidence).