RESOURCE HUB
For the people pleaser, perfectionist, overachiever ready to trade hustling to prove herself for more peace, confidence and calm
Because let’s be honest, all that caring what other people think, anxious attachment and living a life that looks good on paper but leaves you feeling “meh” gets really exhausting.
Your simple plan to stop living to please.
Whether you’re on day 1 or 1000 of your recovering “good girl” era, the no brainer place to start is my mini-course, “Debunking the Need to Please”.
Every day for the next 6 days, I’ll drop a juicy email in your inbox with some of my biggest aha’s, some of the practices that have helped me and the important reminders, specifically for the overachiever type, to help you really understand what it’s going to take to tackle that people pleasing and stop caring so much what other people think. The best part, it’s totally free.
Looking for something specific?
Let’s just say I have a lot of thoughts about the mindset, habits and tools that help former people pleasers and perfectionists fast track to a more confident, secure, fulfilled version of themselves. You can check them all out below or let me help you find what you’re looking for…
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Recent Posts
The most common sign that you care too much what people think
The number one sign that you care too much what other people think is if you spend a ton of time trying to predict what they’re thinking and feeling. In short, trying to read minds. Now before you click away, you might be thinking - “uh, yeah, stating the obvious, if I care what other people think, I spend time trying to figure out what they think.”
And there, my friend, is the issue.
I started enforcing way stricter boundaries. This is what happened next.
If you hear all this talk about why boundaries are important but want to really understand what it means to set a boundary and what might happen when you start communicating boundaries in your friendships, relationships and work life, this post is for you.
Behind the scenes: my favorite journal prompts as a mindset coach and former people pleaser
Do you wonder whether journaling can help mental health? This will talk through why it’s so beneficial if you struggle with overthinking, anxiety and people pleasing and detail the actual journal prompts a mindset and confidence coach uses for her own reflection (and why they’ll help you move towards more confidence).
Why you should start asking for more perks today (and how to get started)
If you want access to the network of free stuff, rewards and benefits, it all comes back to cultivating your ability to ask for what you want. Getting over your fears around rejection or what people will think is the key to more confident, a more luxe life and more ease day-to-day
On being messy (Behind the scenes of the mindset challenges of entrepreneurship)
I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about my business, my lifestyle, what I want for myself long term. And I will admit that there were a solid weeks at least where I was considering shutting this business down and starting from scratch. But I realized I’d be doing y’all a disservice if I wasn’t open about what’s been going on in my head as I’ve navigated the last 9 months and the biggest learning I’m working through personally because I know that you probably need to hear it as much as I did.
Is this deadline stressing you out? Unpacking the pressure around turning 30.
Society puts enormous pressure around our thirtieth birthday. Expectations around getting married before thirty or what you should be earning by thirty can be debilitating. I’m breaking down on my thoughts on the deadline and what to do about it.
The secret ingredient to having successful conversations
Because we cannot control the entire world around us, in order to be successful (i.e. have the lifestyle, love, income, schedule, etc. that we desire) we have to learn how to work WITH a world that we do not control, not struggle AGAINST it. So how do you get the world do what you want it to do?
4 Reasons You Keep Getting Overlooked (and How to Start Getting the Attention You Crave)
Unpacking the common reasons why you might be being overlooked for promotions, dates and generally not getting the attention you desire. If you are tired of being the good girl, helper, dependable one but don’t know what you’re doing wrong to be so invisible to your coworkers and men, read this to figure out how to get people to pay attention to you more.
How to stop letting overachieving from making you miserable
If you are an overachiever that’s tired of feeling burnt out and exhausted, you need to understand that the way to stop people pleasing and how to find a partner who will carry his half of the bargain is in looking at the danger of overacheiving.
Are you playing it safe?
This is a question I ask myself, and often clients, fairly regularly. But before we dive in too deep on it, let's clarify one thing: there's a helpful and unhelpful kind of safe. The helpful kind of safe is more like “supported.”
Progress vs. Completion
Do you feel like you're constantly on a treadmill in terms of working toward the life you want? Like the to-do list never ends and just when you work through one piece of self-doubt another one pops up?
The Power of Witness
Do you ever call a friend to talk about a bad day and really just need to vent? But when you get on the phone and start talking they immediately jump in to provide suggestions. It's one of the worst feelings, when you really just need someone to listen and tell you it's going to be okay.
Getting Back to the Basics
I've been thinking a lot lately about the steps that are the most dependable in terms of helping us shift our mindset, actually do what we say we're going to do and begin to feel differently about parts of our lives.
This will decide what your life looks like next year
I'll cut right to the chase - there is one core thing that determines whether your life will be better in a month, six months, a year.
This might be what's making it harder to be confident!
We are all constantly in cycles of growing and dying. If you want to get really philosophical about it, every day we live is both a day of growth (if you're measuring from your birth) and death (if you're measuring from your death.
Read this if you’re scared of rejection
We are all constantly in cycles of growing and dying. If you want to get really philosophical about it, every day we live is both a day of growth (if you're measuring from your birth) and death (if you're measuring from your death.
The most effective habit for feeling happier and more successful
There is one tip that you hear over and over again and I know how easy it is to roll your eyes at how obvious it is.
My biggest reflections from finally taking a week off
Some in-depth, honest reflections as I ease back into business as usual after taking a week.
Why you should listen to your body
I always advise my clients when they're feeling an emotion, to ask themselves: “What is this emotion trying to tell you?”
You have already been admitted to the club of “good enough.”
This was something that had been explained to me over and over again but now I was living it in real life. It was my freshman year at Yale University. We were all living in buildings that looked like castles, navigating living away from home for the first time, looking around eagerly at the people who people had said may be “friends you'll have for the rest of your lives.” And all around us hung a question: What made each of us good enough to be accepted here?
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A game changer for finally releasing those stubborn limiting beliefs
You know what your patterns are, you know what the fears are but how do you actually go about shifting those subconscious beliefs that dictate how we act when we’re triggered or emotional?! Turns out, it’s not about understanding as much as it’s releasing emotions from when you picked them up in the first place. There’s so many tools out there that claim to do this, but honestly, this is the one I keep coming back to. It doesn’t hurt that it can fit in pretty much anybody’s budget. (Plus the code SAMANTHA gets you an extra 15% off!)
WHAT OTHER GIRLIES SAY
“Samantha was instrumental in helping me change my thoughts about myself and my self-worth. These are techniques that I'll be using for a long, long time!”
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