Getting over fear of rejection
What if I told you that we were living in a world where I knew you were 10 no's away from finding your person or getting your dream job? What if there was 1 gut-punch heartbreak between you and the relationship you've been dreaming of? And, no, there's no way to hack this system - to get to what you want, you have to go through.
If that were true - would your run toward the rejection or away from it?
Would you be more willing to face a few rejections to “get it over with,” move through another interview process, knowing that in just a few more, it'll all be worth it?
Thing is: we're already living in this world, we just don't get to know the number.
Why is the world this way, you ask? In my professional opinion, we all have things we need to learn that get us to a place where we can truly give and receive love. We all focus so much on our ability to give but both are required for a successful relationship. And some of us need to build up our confidence to believe we're truly worthy of being loved (or ready for the job we really want). For others, we need to let go of a vision of our “person” (or career) that formed a long time ago but we've since outgrown. And for other's still, we are still allowing people to treat us poorly and one more painful conversation will be enough for us to say “never again.”
Remember: we don't know the number you have to go through. You may already be there. This next one may be the right one.
You are a specific number of heartbreaks, disappointments or rejections away from what you've been searching for.
Now the choice is yours - do you speed up the process or slow it down? Do you go bravely into the world in search of your person or hide away because you remember the pain of your last disappointment or heartbreak?
The people who never find it are the people who give up. The people who run the opposite direction from even the possibility of rejection. They lose hope that their person is out there so they just start avoiding the pain.
Those that keep looking, that keep putting themselves out there, sometime, at some point, make it through however many disappointments and rejections the universe had out for them and finally hit their jackpot.
It doesn't mean they don't feel all the pain of the heartbreaks - but sometimes that's the point. You can dig in to understand what the lesson you're waiting for might be or interpreting what the pattern of unavailable men or ghosting might be telling you.
Coaching doesn't give you a cheat code to skip the lessons, the hard stuff is still necessary. But it can help you befriend rejection and disappointment, help you get clearer on what the purpose might be. Coaching can help you understand those painful moments as a step on the correct path not a detour or a delay. Then, all the sudden, these scary things lose some of their teeth. They start being necessary and somehow helpful.
