My top books for self-development
I don't make New Year's Resolutions (I have read enough of the great habit books to know that a date isn't enough to motivate me to change a habit) but I didn't think it was possible to grow as much in a year as I did in 2021 (I did reminisce on some of my biggest learning in this post over on my Instagram).
But I do love the feeling of potential around the start of the year. Around this time of year, the internet is spinning with roundups of the year before and roundups of things to look forward to or do the next year. One of those I watch for than any other are the "10 books you should read in 2022" roundups. I fully recognize that I'm one of those reading nerds. I will voluntarily stay in on a weekend night to get takeout and read on my couch. One of my dreams for a future partner is that we'll do that together (#nerdgoals).
I get asked a fair amount what I'm reading and I'm always happy to give recommendations. At this point the list I have is pretty lengthy. But this newsletter isn't Samantha's personal recommendations. I'm a serious business woman here! 💁♀️
So in the spirit of the new year but also with a filter toward self-development, I wanted to share with you…
10 books I recommend to learn about yourself!
Before I fully dive in, I picked out this list not because they gave me the most practical, actionable tips to ~*Change my life*~. I know that journey is so personal for each person. It's part of why my coaching experience was so fruitful (and what I hope to offer my clients), because after each session, my coach was able to give me a tailored set of recommendations of what to read or listen to and what to consider based on what I was working through at the time.
I offer these books as a selection of books that inspired some major reflection for me. My suggestion would be to start with whatever really speaks to you but to maybe come back and try one of the books that makes you a little uncomfortable when you read about it next. I’ve split the list into the more “Practical” vs. “Inspirational” reads. In the same vein as above, if you typically go straight for the “give me 3 practical things I can do,” you may be exactly the person that needs the more narrative driven reflection story (to make you consider some of the underlying feelings) and on the flip side, if you typically love inspirational books but keep finding yourself in the same place, the “practical” may be what you need to really start the action!
Okay, enough preface, let's do this…
Inspirational Reads
If you feel like you’re not meeting your full potential:
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
This might be my favorite book of 2021 (and yes, I know, I was way behind the curve). Glennon has basically lived 3 lives packed into one but her voice is so authentic and raw that there’s something in this for everybody. The importance of feeling your feelings (which is a core value around here!), how to get better at trusting our own judgement and intuition, how to be a good friend, partner or mother without giving yourself away, there is just gold upon gold in here.
If you feel trapped or insecure or are wondering whether your current path is right for you, please give this one a shot!
For anyone who’s been in or is considering therapy:
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
I think this is a must read for anybody who’s ever done therapy consistently (and potentially for those trying to wrap their head around the value of the investment). I am not exaggerating to say that during this book I would regularly have to stop to scribble down thought through tears of recognition and that it led to the single largest breakthrough I’ve ever had.
If you feel like you’re decently self-aware but know that a third party perspective would probably yield insights, this book could help you unlock some of those insights even faster.
If you feel your friendships shifting in adulthood and don’t know what to do about it:
Big Friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman
I loved this thoughtful and grownup look at friendship. It felt like a love note to the true friends but with the really honest perspective about what it takes to make those friendships last. It made me face a couple of places where I had been coming up short and also gave me an expansive example of what adult friendship could look like.
If you believe in the power of female friendships, this one will warm your heart in a great way.
If you wish you could be more creative:
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
From the author of Eat Pray Love, this book is an uplifting, teetering on spiritual take on creativity. Incredibly for most, I think it helps prompt that far more of us are “creative” than we’d naturally consider ourselves. When thinking about bringing ideas into the world, Elizabeth teaches you how to shepherd the right ideas without beating yourself up when you’re not at peak *creative genius*.
If you’ve ever tried a creative endeavor, there’s something in here for you.
Practical Reads
For anyone who struggles to speak up (or has a negotiation coming up):
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator who tested his tactics in the highest stakes situations one can imagine. But I think perhaps the most beneficial learning I gleaned from this book actually wasn’t about negotiation. #1. You cannot ignore the emotion of the situation and #2. Compromise is not the goal. When I approach big conversations, these often come up for me as I try to bend backward to either be rational (to stay safe from the scary feelings I feel coming) or I try to think about the “mutually beneficial solution” and really just try to find the minimum I can accept to get it over with (which doesn’t serve me in the long run).
If you often leave situations feeling like you did the right thing but got the short end of the stick, this might help you get clearer on how you can compassionately get what you want. Also, if you’re looking for a fun but practical read, this is a great one!
If you’ve never negotiated or don’t think you’re good at it:
Ask for It by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
One year, I gave this book to all my best friends. I think this should be required reading for all women as they graduate from college. An honest take on the importance of negotiating with an even-more-honest take about how women need to approach it slightly differently than men. Underneath is a powerful narrative of the importance of believing in your own value and standing up for yourself.
If you have what feels like a career-specific challenge ahead of you, this book is perfect to lay the foundation for your approach.
If you sometimes beat yourself up about not being as productive, smart or organized as you should be:
Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss
An encyclopedia of interviews of a huge range of really successful people. This did a great job of opening my eyes to a lot of different ways success can look. I also loved seeing that the things that were consistent between all these people were more mindset than a certain practical skill.
If you like straightforward, actionable inspiration, this might be good for you.
If you get overwhelmed by the topic of money:
I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
It sounds like a scam, I promise it isn’t. When he says it’s “No Guilt. No Excuses. No BS.” he really means it. My favorite part is that Ramit always reminds us that most of us aren’t missing opportunities to build wealth because we don’t have access to the information, it’s because we’re letting our overwhelm or our fear of screwing up or our perfectionism stop us. He also makes a deeply important point about triangulating what really makes us happy (the spending side of the financial equation) and building a financial reality that allows us to enjoy life long before retirement.
If you feel like you’re not making enough to need personal finance or you have done the basics but aren’t sure whether the other stuff matters for you, this book is perfect for you.
If you wonder if you’re not built for the 9-5:
The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss
This book is basically the epitome of self-help literature. Sometimes it’s a little over the top and unrealistic (some of his recommendations were real differentiators 10 years ago, but now are past saturation). But all that said, Tim asks us to challenge our existing assumptions about life vs. retirement, work vs. life/play, and how we look at work. I found it just the right amount of uncomfortable for me to consider some of his recommendations and got me questioning some of my existing assumptions in a healthy way.
If you have been sitting on a dream (professional or personal) that you feel like you’ll never get to, this one might just be a nudge in the perfect way.
Once you dive in to one of these goldmines, I want to hear what you think! Let me know in my DM’s over on Instagram.
Are there any books you think I should read?
