We all know the story of Cinderella, right? I'm going to assume yes and just jump in because I know you're busy. 

Now most of us know the Disney animated version. But as with all fairytales, as I think we've come to learn, there are lots of versions, for Cinderella dating back to Ancient Greek times. Again, won't belabor you with a history lesson…

Here is what I want to point out: We focus so much on Cinderella's glow up in the story, the rags-to-riches of her being plucked out of a crowd by a handsome prince to live forever in true love and absolute luxury. But this stroke of luck or fate didn't transform Cinderella into something she'd never been before.

In almost every version of the tale, from Greece to Italy to France (which factoid, is when the slipper was first glass!), Cinderella was beautiful or of noble birth or cherished before she had been forced to serve as a maid or put in hiding or some other minimizing role. 

The girl wasn't plucked out of oblivion by an attractive man and made worthy! A bunch of people had just convinced her that she had to clean the floors or that she wasn't eligible or desirable and then at some point, the fairy godmother (or equivalent) helps her remember who she already was.

I'm sure y'all have already gathered what I'm getting at here. But just in case, let me beat you over the head with the glass slipper…

You're not waiting for your prince to show you (or the world) that you're a princess! The real problem here is that you let an evil stepmother keep you cleaning those damn floors this whole time!

(Important caveat: I'm not here for stepmom bashing. I have a stepmom and she's fab. Hi Kendall! If you're reading this!) 

When you were born onto this planet, you did not have insecurities about your thighs or your writing or how goofy you were. Think of those adorable childhood photos where you're wearing some silly outfit and dancing in the living room. She knew she was a f*cking queen.

The thing is that somewhere along the way (usually in subtle ways in childhood and then it really gets beat into us during the hell that is middle school) someone suggested that there was something(s) wrong with us, that make us not good enough.

But now, when the guy doesn't swipe right or a dude ghosts you after the second date, you've got a story ready to go in your head about which flaw of yours motivated that decision. I need you to remember, Darling, those things are the whispers of your evil stepmother. 

And let me be your fabulous fairy godmother (I think my whole life has led up to this analogy and I'm thrilled about it) and help you remember who you are, long before you ever step foot in that ballroom. Because that's the other part of the story that we don't discuss enough - Cinderella already looked and felt amazing before she ever walked into the room with the Prince. It's not him picking her that makes her feel good.

She did that sh*t on her own.

If you want to be confident at work, magnetic in your dating life, secure in your interpersonal relationships, the game is not to look for proof from the princes on the dating apps (lol) because that would be like Cinderella walking into the ball still in rags and asking someone to tell her she looks like a princess. The game is to find all the whispers of the evil stepmothers and stepsisters of your past and show them the door.  

You may not believe me that those whispers are lies right now and that's okay, it's totally normal. Depending on how young you learned those things, you may not even remember a time before you believed those things about yourself.

But it also doesn't mean they're true.

Now unlike Cinderella, you truly don't need a fairy godmother to slough off those rags and step back into all of the greatness of who you really are. You are fully capable of remembering who you are and putting your version of your fabulous gown on so you can strut into the metaphorical ballroom with pride to meet your prince (and everything else you want).  

But a magic wand does expedite things!

And if you're looking for a fairy godmother to help with this work, let me just say… I volunteer as tribute ;)