I watched a video on TikTok that hit HARD. I feel seen in a called out sort of way. Of course, I can't find the link to the video itself, cause TikTok makes that basically impossible, so you'll have to enjoy my retelling.

A woman was proposing a simple phrase that can really “change your life” if used regularly. The promise was that this wording shift would kick you into high gear on the things that are important in your life and make you face clearly, the things that might be distracting you. The wording shift was:

“___ isn't a priority right now.”

This is how it works.

Anytime you notice yourself talking about something that isn't working in your life, a goal you're not hitting, a habit you're not keeping, you shift your internal talk from however you said it to “_____ isn't a priority right now.”

Let's do a few examples so you can see how this mindset shift could ‘change your life’:

• “I don't have time to date.” → “Dating isn't a priority right now.”

• “I don't make enough to travel.” → “Travel isn't a priority right now."

• “I'm so bad about getting to the gym.” → “Getting to the gym isn't a priority right now.”

• “I always forget to call my mom." → “Calling my mom isn't a priority right now.” (This isn't true, Mom, since I know you're reading this, just an example!)

The brilliance of this reframe is that it puts how your life is playing out squarely back in your control.

We all know that most of the things we “can't” or “don't have time for” are not because they truly are impossible but rather we aren't willing to handle the inconvenience or discomfort it would take to make them possible. And saying “I don't have time to date” is also a convenient way to avoid the emotional vulnerability that comes with getting dressed up, sitting across the table from someone new and risking rejection.

And from another angle, this strategy is effective because everything can't be a priority all at once. As I've been in the early stages of this business, I've had to decide between seeing friends as regularly as I'd like, my normal clip of travel and having the time and money to build this business. It won't be this way forever but right now, for me, “travel and hanging out with friends 3-4 times a week aren't priorities right now.”

I even see this when I talk to potential clients about working together! They hear all the benefits of coaching - more clarity about what you want, a feeling of calm that you're on the right track and meeting your person will happen, more awareness of your emotional patterns and ways to regulate them - and then we get to the end of the call and talk about the investment. The most common thing they say is: “I can't afford that right now” but I know the real answer is: “My personal growth isn't a priority right now.”

And that's okay. I hope for those women that they eventually choose to make it a priority because I've seen the enormous impact investing in yourself can have. But they decide their own priorities and I respect that.

So for today, this is my challenge to you: what are the three nagging topics you always want to address and never do? For me, a regular exercise routine has always been on my list. Watching that TikTok I had to face the reality that I've been saying “I don't have time to work out” when the truth is “Exercise isn't a priority for me.”

And then… can you take a look at your life and ask yourself:

What AM I making a priority (over these things)? Is that how I want to prioritize my life?